Saturday, October 2, 2010

Being a Mother...

If I could be just 1/2 the mom that my mother was I would know I did just fine.  My mother wasn't perfect but I know that she tried.  I often think about a time when I over heard her on the phone telling someone that she would just rather them not tell her the story.  She went on to explain that she had made the decision that she wasn't going to listen or repeat any gossip.  I guess that really sunk in that day.  As women we enjoy talking so much and what is there to talk about if we don't talk about each other?  Remembering hearing this has often made me think twice before I speak.  I know I should be better at not spreading or listening to gossip because most of the time it is not true and would only hurt the person it is about.

My mom was so willing to help anyone out and tried very hard to please everyone.  It is hard for me to think of a time that dinner wasn't prepared and on the table by 5 or 6.  I now know how hard that is to do.  I can just kick myself for how much I complained about not being hungry or not liking what we were having.  I should have been thanking her for taking the time to care about us so much.  My kids are lucky to get a nice cooked meal for dinner once a week.  I try really hard to make sure I do it a couple times a week but it is so hard with every thing else going on.  I am lucky to have kids who are willing to try new things so I don't get a whole lot of complaints but when I do it makes me so mad that I spent so much time for nothing.  I know they will come to appreciate it more as they grow older like I did. 

Today is my moms birthday.  A day that now means so much to me.  It has been 7 and 1/2 years since we have lost her.  I think everyday how things would be different with her here.  I have so many things I want to tell her and so many questions I want to ask.  But most of all I wish my kids knew her.  They are so sweet and tell me they miss her too.  They ask if we can go to her grave and take flowers a lot which makes me smile.  I think they just like to go to the cemetery.  I have always felt so jipped because she died 3 days after Adelyn was born.  It has never seemed fair to me but when is life very fair?  I know everything happens for a reason and I believe she held on till she felt it was her time to go.  I just wish I knew the reason behind it all.  I am sure there are so many people that are wondering the same thing about loved ones they have lost.  Loosing my mom was so hard but there is some comfort in knowing she was able to experience so many things in her life.  I think her favorite part was being a grandma and now she has 4 grand daughters and 6 grand sons.  She was the best grandma to the three she was able to get to know and she would have been for the rest.  I know she is watching over them all from above.

We went to the Cemetery the other day and put up some flowers. 


I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family.  Even though I have lost my mother I have a father who would do anything for me, 4 wonderful sisters and a brother.  Not to mention my extended family who means so much to me.  My sisters and I have all be able to get closer as we have gotten older.  They are all so great and unique in there own ways.  I learn so much from each of them and feel so blessed to have them in my life.  Bryce, my little yet taller brother is the best brother you could ask for.  He is so kind to me and my kids.  He has always been there, to help me with anything he can.  I can honestly say I wouldn't have made it this far without him in my life.  It is so wonderful to know that I have people who love, care and except me for who I am.  Our Mother was a great example to all of us kids and taught us all so much.  I feel so blessed to have had her as my mother and friend.  She touched the lives of everyone who knew her and truly was an angel on earth.  Happy Birthday Mom!!  You are missed by all who were lucky enough to know you.  You are always in my heart and on my mind.  I Love You!!  Leslie





2 comments:

Karen and Maui said...

Thanks for such a wonderful tribute to our mom. I love you!

Jessica said...

So nice to read Leslie, thank you. Love you very much and would do anything for you.